Always
by goldfish400
Summary: When they fell asleep side by side, Moana and Maui discovered they're able to share dreams. Dreams they experience at the same time together. And when you've got the ability to do this with your best friend, whom almost all the time you've spent with has been positive, nothing can ever go wrong, right? ...Right?


When Moana pushes herself upwards, she looks around and finds herself in the middle of the ocean. Everything's dark, and foggy, and she's having trouble seeing what's in front of her. Confused, she looks downward, and finds herself lying down on the deck of her canoe.

That's...weird. She could swear that just a few minutes ago she was hiding it out from an awful thunderstorm with Maui on some island they'd discovered early this morning. Oh well. Maybe the storm had passed and Maui dragged her sleeping body back to their canoe without telling her just to freak her out when she woke up and no longer found herself on land.

She hates it when he does that.

Speaking of Maui, actually, he's sitting at the edge of the canoe with his back turned to her. He's got his hook in his lap, and he almost looks...upset?

Oh.

Oh _no_. No, no, no. She can't be. This can't be happening. Despite every nerve in her body telling her to stay down, Moana spares a glance up at the sail. It's torn clean in half, the edges of the sheet a singed black. When Moana opens the door to the storage compartment, HeiHei pops his head out of one of the baskets and clucks worriedly. She closes it, and turns back to Maui.

"Maui?" she asks, because this has to be a joke. This has to be. There's no way this is happening again.

But then he stands, and when he turns to her there's a sickeningly deep crack running through his hook, and it makes Moana feel sick to her stomach. Her feet act before she can think twice, and she jumps to her feet as Maui walks right past her.

"Maui?" she asks again, but he bows his head down like he can't hear her, like he doesn't _want to hear her…_

"I'm not going back" he mutters darkly, and she _wishes he would look her in the eyes_ because this _can't be happening again._ Moana doesn't respond, but Maui continues on, like he's stuck in some sort of loop, like he's not aware this is old news and that they've already been past this-

The sound of something small and hard clinking against the deck startles Moana from her thoughts so suddenly she flinches at the sound. When she comes back to herself, Maui is standing at the opposite end of the canoe as her, back turned and hook raised, and her heart drops out of her stomach. This _can't_ be happening, he can't be leaving her _again_ he can't be abandoning her like this _again,_ not for this, not for the hook he threw away for her and swore he'd do again thousands of times over before he ever even _considered_ leaving her again-

"Goodbye, Moana" he mumbles, and before Moana knows it she's lurching forward with her arms outstretched to get him to stay. Just before she can reach out and touch his shoulder he whips back around and Moana physically stumbles backwards at the sudden gesture. He's saying something, something angry and hateful but Moana can't hear him and she _knows_ he doesn't really mean what he's saying because they've been _over this_ but she _hates_ the way he's looking at her and it's _scaring her._

And just as quickly as he whipped around to look at her, his back is turned to her again. Without another word, he flashes his hook once, twice, three times before he turns hawk and takes off from their canoe.

"Maui!" Moana yells after him, but he still won't turn around, he _still_ won't look her in the eyes-

When Moana jolts upright, there's something warm pressing against her side. She takes a moment to collect herself, blinking away the last lingering remnants of her dream as she takes a look at her surroundings. She's still in that cave, and though it has calmed significantly since she and Maui had slipped in here for refuge she can still hear the rain pounding against the roof. She brings a hand to her chest, and taking deep breaths, she allows herself to calm.

It was just a dream.

It was just a dream.

She's fine; she's not out in the middle of the ocean by herself, and Maui-

Moana blinks, and turns her attention to whatever's pressed up so closely to her side. Maui's still here, he's still curled up on his side, facing away from her, the same way he had been when she fell asleep. It was already getting pretty dark when the two of them found this cave in the first place, but no matter how much she had insisted that the storm would pass or that they could just head back out when it cleared up a bit, Maui _insisted_ that they wait it out until morning. Maui, however, seemed to forget very quickly how cold caves tended to get at night, and it was with a lot of indignation on Moana's part that when they decided to try to go to sleep that they lied back to back, closely pressed together to prevent the other from losing too much heat overnight.

Now it's...reassuring, more than anything, that he's right here. Moana rubs at her eyes and lies back down, shuffling herself slightly closer to him. Exhaustion immediately overcomes her again, like nothing had jolted her awake at all, and she closes her eyes.

She's only asleep for a handful of seconds when Maui suddenly jerking startles her back awake. Her eyes pop open, and she shoots up into a sitting position. "Maui?" she asks, rubbing at her eyes. "Are you okay?" She asks, but he gives her no response. Before Moana can do anything else, he jerks again, and his arm flops down from his side and smacks down onto the cavern floor beside him in a dull _thud._

"Maui?" Moana repeats, frowning. She reaches her arm out to him, but before she can reach him, his other arm flops over next to him and lands roughly beside the other one. Frowning, Moana gets onto her knees and crawls around him so she can look at him. His face is scrunched up in an expression so panicked and so _heartbroken_ Moana has to physically restrain herself from scrambling backwards. He begins to twist around again, frown deepening, and he moves his arms like he's trying to reach out to something. His lips are moving like he's saying something and it looks frantic whatever it is and the more his lips move the more he looks like he's trying to speak to someone who's not listening to him and the more he does that the more his arms seem to reach out to grasp something he can't reach-

To _someone_ he can't reach.

To someone who is _leaving him._

No, no, no no, this can't be happening. This _can't_ be. She and Maui have definitely shared dreams in the past. Nights where they both fell asleep next to each other or those nights on her canoe where Moana would turn in her sleep and somehow accidentally bump her forehead against his even though he _insisted_ he wasn't tired. But those dreams, the ones they've shared in the past, they've always been nice. More often than not they're just dreams about sailing, about crossing that horizon line, but sometimes they're also memories. Memories they both relive through at the same time. Dreams about the time in Lalotai he taught her her warrior face or their parting conversation on Te Fiti. Pleasant memories. But they've _never_ shared a nightmare before. So this _can't_ be happening because this _isn't_ something that happens.

The sudden sound of Maui audibly murmuring something snaps Moana from her thoughts, and when she returns her attention to him he _still_ looks heartbroken and panicked and like he's going to fall apart at any second.

And then he does something _so_ uncharacteristic, _so_ unlike him- that Moana would've blamed it on the rain had it not eased into an almost inaudible drizzle outside.

He whimpers.

Actually whimpers.

Not just anything, either. His face is scrunched up in painand heartbreak and Moana can barely hear it because it sounds so _small_ and so _broken-_

"Moana-" he whimpers her name in a voice so quiet and so full of pain it almost makes him sound _younger-_

"Moana-" he whimpers again, and he sounds so _apologetic,_ like he is trying to apologizeto her in his _sleep_ for something she forgave him for _years ago-_

She can't take it anymore. Moana scoots closer to him and crawls until his head is close enough to her knees that if she just pulled on it a little it could rest on her lap. So she does. Carefully, she lifts his head and places it gently on her knees, and then adjusts slightly so his neck doesn't have to crane up awkwardly for his head to be able to rest comfortably on her lap. Closing her eyes, Moana takes a few moments to slow her breathing to match hers with his own, and then she leans down and presses her forehead to his. She stays that way for dozens and dozens of heartbeats, eyes closed against Maui's, breathing in and out over and over again in a slow pattern that matches his as he sleeps as he _still_ relives that memory she _never_ would've wanted him to ever go through again just _hoping_ that this is getting through to him somehow- that she's here, that she's trying to help-

Suddenly, Maui gasps for air, and when Moana blinks her eyes back open she finds Maui's wide with shock blinking up at her. She pulls her head away instantly, and slowly backs away to give him some space to allow him to come to his senses a little bit.

"Maui?" she asks tentatively as he takes a few deep breaths, and at the sound of her voice he runs a hand through his hair as he turns to look at her.

"I'm so sorry" he blurts before Moana can so as much open her mouth.

"What? No, don't be" She says, frowning. "It was my nightmare, I gave it to you, I should be the one apologizing"

Maui frowns. "Moana, you-" he starts, and pauses to huff out the most broken-sounding sigh Moana's ever heard in her entire life. "You _still_ have nightmares about this?" He asks, voice straining, and Moana frowns, because this is the _last_ way she would've _ever_ wanted him to find out. "It's been _years_ since I- and you-" His voice drops off, and he sighs again. "I'm sorry" He shakes his head. "I'm so sorry"

Moana frowns. "Maui, it's fine-"

" _Is_ it fine?" He asks, bringing both hands to his head. "Is it? Moana-you've been having nightmares about this for _years_ , about-" He drops off again, and there's _pain_ in his eyes when he looks at her again. "About the way I _looked_ at you?" He says. "The words-" He pauses. "I regret saying those things more than anything, Moana, but-now you're having nightmares where I barely say a word to you at all? Because I'm looking at you like-like I _hate_ you?" He shakes his head. "Moana, I don't-" He pauses. "I could never-" He tries again, but drops off, defeated.

Moana frowns, because this is the absolute last thing she would ever want him to think. She's fine, she really is, and she _knows_ he doesn't hate her, she _knows_ he regrets that decision and that he would never make it again, but sometimes she just can't help herself. Every once in a while, when she's not occupied with other things, her mind just...starts to wander. Maybe it had something to with the fact that she had been irritated with him before she went to sleep, or she was so unused to the cold that surrounded her that she began to associate it with her bad memories, the place she only willingly lets herself go in the dark of night when she thinks nobody else is around. Her worst memory, as a matter of fact, of her best friend abandoning her to the sea, dark and cold in the middle of the night.

But he's here now. She knows he's here, and she knows he's not going anywhere, and nothing comforts Moana more when she gets like this than to be in his presence, to remind herself that he's not leaving again, that he's _never_ leaving again.

So she will do the same for him. She will be here for him and she will remind him that _she_ is never leaving either.

"Maui", she says in a firm yet soft manner. "Look at me" She says, and for a moment he ignores her, keeps staring at the ground, but before she can ask again he slowly raises his head from its bowed position towards the floor to look at her. "I'm _fine._ I mean it. I'm okay" she says, and Maui regards her for a long second like he's looking for genuineness in her expression, but he does not respond.

"Look" she says, and sighs. "I'm sorry" she says, and shakes her head. "I never wanted you to have to experience that. I never wanted to share that with you" she says, and he goes to open his mouth, but she holds up a hand before he can interrupt. "I never wanted to have to share that with you because I know it hurts you to think about just as much as it hurts me" She says, and this time it's Moana who's having trouble meeting _his_ eyes. Her eyes dart down towards the ground, and she tucks some of her hair behind her ear before she continues. "Maybe...maybe even more than it hurts me" She says, and returns her gaze to him. "Maui- I forgave you for what you did _years_ ago. I _know_ you regret that more than anything. I _know_ you wouldn't leave again" She pauses to make sure he's really paying attention to her. "That you _won't_ leave again" She jabs a finger in his direction. Maui huffs a small, genuine laugh, and she can see the corners of his mouth creak up ever so slightly in a smile, but it drops just as quickly as it forms.

"But you're having _nightmares_ about this, Moana- about _me-_ you're waking up in the middle of the night and you're losing sleep and I- I'm supposed to be _protecting_ you, and I can't even-" He trails off, grumbling to himself, eyes darted towards the ground and hands balling into fists against his skirt.

"Hey," Moana says. "It's okay. _You're_ okay. It was just a nightmare." She says, and shrugs. "Sometimes a nightmare is just a nightmare. It doesn't mean anything" She says, and sighs quietly as Maui turns his gaze back to her. "Okay, yes, I still have nightmares about it sometimes, and yes, I do still think about it sometimes. But it's not your fault" Moana shakes her head. "None of this is your fault. I do still think about it sometimes, but that's just because my mind wanders sometimes when I'm too unoccupied or when I'm overwhelmed-" She shakes her head again. "But it has nothing to do with you. It never has" She tucks her hair behind her ear. "Maybe-maybe it did at the beginning" She admits sheepishly. "But I know how wrong I was now."

Silence.

And after a few moments, Moana can't help the small huff of amusement that escapes her as a thought comes to her.

"You know I haven't had a nightmare like this in months? Not _once_ since you came back to Motunui?" She asks, and he blinks at her, shocked.

"Really?" He asks, and Moana's full on smiling now, she can tell, but she can't help herself.

"Yep!" She replies cheerfully, but then she collects herself a little bit before she continues. "Maui, I do know you regret leaving more than anything. Even back when I first started having nightmares like this, you want to know how I would calm myself down?"

Maui only shrugs.

"I would sit there and I would tell myself that you're not leaving, that you'll always be here. And guess what? It worked every time." She points a finger in his direction. "Because I knew even then just how true that statement is."

Maui sighs, and Moana can almost see the weight lift itself off of his shoulders. Not entirely though.

"Okay, fine. Fine" He says. "But- if you haven't had one like this since I came back, then why-why tonight? Why are you having this- this gods awful nightmare about me tonight?" He asks, and Moana shrugs kind of sheepishly.

"I don't know" she admits, and shakes her head, this time in amusement. "I thought it maybe had something to do with the cold. I'm so used to it being so much warmer than this, even on rainy nights like these, that I guess I started to associate it with some things I don't like to think about" She smiles in amusement. "I wonder why _that would_ be" She jokes, gesturing vaguely around their small cave.

Maui goes to open his mouth to argue, she can see it clear on his face, but then he drops it, closes his mouth, nervously darts his eyes around again. He's still not entirely convinced.

"Jokes aside, Maui, I'm serious. It has nothing to do with you. I'm still here, you're still here, and you're still my best friend" She says, andnowshe's full on _grinning_ , but she really can't help herself. Because he is. Maui always has been and always will be her best friend, and nothing's ever going to change that.

He sighs again, and Moana watches as the last of that weight finally lifts itself off of his shoulders. He's not smiling, not yet, but Moana can tell that he's calmed significantly.

"Promise?" He asks, and Moana can't help but laugh as she crawls forward to press her forehead against his.

"Promise"


End file.
